A woman today was dying in our clinic. There was a lot of blood and her breathing had changed and her eyes looked panicked and frightened because she didn’t know what was happening to her body.
We grouped around her dressed in our lab coats and scrubs. Those closest to her had their hands on her body doing what needed to be done. Those on the outside of this circle waited for instructions from us in the middle. Oddly enough I found myself going back and forth between the center of this group and the fringes. This quick, deliberate movement reminded me of working in the operating room.
I made one of the nurses laugh because she needed a new glove to protect her from the blood and I held one out for her using the O.R. technique. Having never been offered a glove this way before, she was puzzled at first but then all I had to say was, “Just put your hand in and push down.” In two seconds she was re-gloved and back to helping. Quietly she laughed and said, “Just like the O.R., right?” I smiled in response.
We stopped the bleeding but still needed to transfer her from the waiting room chair to the cart. Looking around our group of white coats it was easy to see that I was the one who was going to do the lift. Someone held pressure on the site of the bleeding, someone held her head and neck, and I found myself digging my arms underneath her back and legs. On “3″ I pushed up with my legs and realized that never in my entire career have I ever held a patient like this.
Despite the chaos, it was a very tender moment.
Getting her onto the cart was not easy because of all the people surrounding us and the cart initially was turned the wrong way. Once she was lined up, I still had to lift her pretty high because the head of the cart was elevated. As the minutes passed I wondered if this was going to work.
In a flash she was on the cart and I found myself backing away from the center feeling like I had done my part and it was time for the others to get her ready for the trip to the emergency room. Someone called for a blanket and I found myself walking down the hall in search of one.
So many of us were involved in this incident that I was surprised when more than a few people came up to me to express their appreciation for my being able to lift her from the chair to the cart. It was nice to be complimented but I told each of the staffers who came up to me that we all did our part.
It’s been about ten hours now since this happened and I can still feel her weight and I can still see the blood & the look in her eye. I remember all the white coats and being shoulder to shoulder with my co-workers. My mind is still jumbled from earlier today and I hope a quiet night will settle me before the morning.
