So that’s how you do it.

I got pulled over for what the officer claimed to be an illegal u-turn. Whatever. Well, I lost my driver’s license on one of the family farms two weeks ago. Thankfully I carried my passport with me until my replacement arrives. I pulled it out and gave it to him. He laughed and said, “You can’t use this as a driver’s license.” So he looks at me and says, “So how are we going to take care of this?” I didn’t get the hint. We get to small talking our way through this thing and again he says, “So, how are we going to take care of this?”

I felt a tap on my shoulder from the back seat. While he and I were talking mom had fished out some money and flashed it to the officer. He kind of cocks his head back and laughs again. Well, he reaches into the car with a green, vinyl “driver’s license holder.” It’s no bigger than the card itself. We put the money in the holder and gave it back. He says, “Next time, make sure you have your license. Be careful. Good night.”

Now my parents are worrysome to a fault and I thought they’d have a fit after we drove off. Well, as it turns out that was the funny story of the day. My mom and dad kept laughing. Mom kept saying, “Now you learned another part of life in the Philippines. You now can live here like a Filipino!”

Dad kept saying, “When he asked ‘How are we going to take care of this?’ you should’ve said, ‘However the hell you want to do it, officer.’” All of that in Tagalog, of course.

By the way, I gotta say that as I’m talking with the officer and he asks me “The Question.” I didn’t quite understand because I was thinking to myself, “My God, I’m talking to the Filipino Andy Sipowitz.” I mean, he’s speaking Tagalog, of course but I can hear a New York accent! And he has this mustache! And this round face too! I mean, I’m probably smiling the whole time and he doesn’t understand what the hell I’m smiling for! What a hoot.

Well, to end this story we pick up my aunt from work shortly after that incident and she tells me about even more ways I could’ve handled the situation — for next time, I guess. We all got a good laugh out of that one at the restaurant.

What else is going to happen on this trip? I can’t wait.